I’ve been finding myself so homesick lately. I catch myself in thoughts of being surrounded by people that know me…the ones that know what I’m saying without having to say it. But with a little over a year under my belt in Sydney…I’m realizing that I whenever it is I do go home…I’ll have the same feelings about my life here in Sydney and the friendships I’ve created. My roommate came into my room a couple nights ago, saddened by uncertainty.
She was in an anxious state of fear that her friends would be/will be moving to new places in a matter of years, if not months, and frightened by the concept of what the future will hold. I sat in silent for a few moments thinking about how sad I would be to have to ever live with different housemates…how much I love them and how rare it is to live roommates that have treated you like family, despite many tears and emotions, amateur guitar practice and too loud/ late of music.
I started to think about finding a new job; not knowing where to look and who to ask…that I wouldn’t be able to blast our “Thuggout Friday” playlists and that they would grow annoyed of my constant need of proofing, input and assurance. In one way or another, we’re always going to find ourselves in these uncertainties of life…even in times of stability. As I try to shake these anxious feelings, I remind myself that even if I was living in Chicago, close to all the people I love so much…I would miss my life here. So, I’ll take it day by day and see where it gets me; reminding that uncertainty is life…and life is certainly uncertain.